In 2020, we decided that it might be good to live for a few years in Asia. We had loved our trips to Laos, Japan, Singapore, Indonesia and Thailand, and wanted to see what it would be like to live in a Buddhist environment. The Covid pandemic has retarded our plans a bit, but we are intending to leave for Chiang Mai, Thailand in August 2021, and make it our base from where to discover the Far East.

I write these lines with a deep sense of calm, happiness and gratitude. I find that life has given me so much, and that there is so much more to come.

The two of us have entwined our lives to the point where we now almost spend all of our time together. We sometimes have difficulties seeing others, not because we are asocial, but because we enjoy so much each other’s presence, that we just have trouble fitting others into the picture. This winter, we have spent almost two full months continuously in our chalet, practically in total isolation. At the end of it, we both said that it was one of the best times we could remember. 

As I re-read this letter to you, I wonder what it is that makes us who we are, and whether there are any insights that could help others to live as fulfilled a life as I have had.

These are some of the lessons that life has taught me:

I think that we are all born with certain gifts. For some, it is a very bright analytical mind, for others it might be musical skills, still others are good at crafting objects with their hands, some others excel at sports. In my case, from the start I was good at storytelling and interpersonal relations. And I had absolutely no stage fright. You can already see this when I was five years old, in the way that I invented the story of the lion and the mouse, and how I handled myself in front of the teacher during my interview for the admission to St. Andrew’s, my primary school. Or much later in life, when I was able to invent stories on the go, to keep Pablito and Nico’s minds occupied during our walks in the mountains. It’s certainly not a coincidence that I did very well professionally in advertising, a discipline that is all about storytelling, and where interpersonal skills are critical.

But nature’s gifts aren’t enough. To fulfil your potential, three other things are important: the influence of the entourage you grow up in, the wisdom to seize opportunities when they arrive, and luck.

I was very fortunate that as I was growing up, I was surrounded by optimistic, encouraging, if not admiring, adults. My parents believed in me, and took a lot of care to arm me with what they considered to be the very best tools for life. I don’t think that material well-being in early life is essential to success (there are plenty of examples of people who were born in poverty and reach their destiny), but I think it helps. In my case, the fact that I went to good schools, that I was able to practice sports, learn how to play musical instruments, travel and, especially, receive the best education that money could buy, made a difference. I grew up with the sense that if I wanted to try something, I could. That’s not true for everyone, and I’m grateful to my parents for having given me the freedom, the means and the psychological safety that comes with knowing that the world is open to me.

But identifying your natural gifts and growing up in a supportive environment is only the beginning of the story. You also need to seize the opportunities when they arrive. As Ted Kennedy said to Barack Obama in 2007, when the young Senator was hesitating to run for President, thinking it was better for him to wait an additional four years to accumulate more experience: ‘You don’t choose the time. The time chooses you’.

How true this is. In my case, when I was twelve, I jumped on the opportunity to apply to the Colegio Nacional de Buenos Aires, which allowed me to enter secondary school earlier and graduate at barely 17. When the opportunity arose, I seized it to spend a year in Europe and, later, to study in the US. I again jumped on the chance that P&G gave me to live in a city that I would come to adore and spend the rest of my life in. And I started, then sold, what became a very successful business, when the time was right. 

I didn’t let anyone (especially not ‘common sense’ or ‘society’) tell me what was right. My decisions were guided by what was right for me. And I always focused on the now. I never allowed thoughts such as ‘if you do this for a few years, then…’ if it meant not doing what I loved at the time I did it.

I would probably be wealthier today if I had stayed at P&G or joined Pepsico, but it would have meant living in Cincinnati or New York and that’s not what I wanted, not even for a short time. Or I could have continued to struggle in a loveless relationship with Josée, in the hope that somehow in the future, things might have worked out. Instead, when the opportunity arose, I immediately and without hesitation jumped on it and joined my destiny with yours. 

Opportunities need to be identified and seized, because they are usually rare. That’s something we can influence. But we can’t influence luck, which nevertheless plays such a central role in our lives.

In my case, if my father had not casually bumped into a lady on the beach in Punta del Este, who told him that universities like Princeton conducted interviews before they made final decisions on candidates like me, I would have never attended a university that in many ways changed my life. In 1982, if P&G had not just a few months before changed its hiring policy and sent me for an interview to Geneva, I would have never been able to settle in the city of my dreams. If Margaret Thatcher had not been at war with Argentina, my sales training would have never happened in Canada, I would not have met Josée, and Pablito and Nico would have never existed. In 2002, if Cardinal beer had not hired a new marketing manager, the ‘Owls’ ad would have never been created, we would have not won the ‘Campaign of the Year’ award and Saatchi would have probably never bought our agency. If I had not accepted your invitation to give a speech in Bucharest, we would have never met. 

So, natural gifts, the support of your entourage in early life, seizing opportunities when they arrive, and luck are, I think, the ingredients that get you where you want to be. But there is still something more, something that goes beyond all of this, and that is your definition of what a successful life is all about.

In my case, from the very start, my North Star wasn’t about money or professional stardom, although I recognise that leading a materially comfortable life and being seen as ‘professionally successful’ has had its undoubted advantages. For one, it got society and its values off my back. And, had I not had an excellent professional reputation, Egon Zehnder and Lukas Mühlemann would have never selected me to run the Harvard Club. Had I not run the Harvard Club, I would have never met so many interesting people.

Being materially well off has also allowed me to offer to my children what my parents so generously gave to me (and what my parents were not able to access as they were growing up): unlimited choices for their education and a lifestyle in two homes that allowed Pablito and Nico to grow up in a beautiful and exciting environment. Having sufficient financial resources allowed me to leave Publicis when I felt like it, and altogether retire from work at a time of my own choosing. So yes, material resources and a professional career path that is accepted and recognised by society, are important ingredients for a successful life.

But stopping there would be a mistake. Society’s values are rigid and flimsy. And wealth has only a very relative impact on happiness (humans have a tendency to adjust to their standard of living at whatever level it is, and then to always want more). What does bring enduring happiness is interior well-being. And this is rarely related to material wealth or adherence to societal standards.

I found interior well-being through studying the Buddha’s insights, which I’ve found incredibly enlightening. But it’s certainly not the only path. All major religions offer ways towards self-realisation. And if you don’t want to get entangled with any religion, then there are libraries full of ‘self-development’ books. 

The important thing to realise, I think, is that we are not at the mercy of life, that we can influence where we go, but it all begins by setting goals that will make us feel well, that are realistic, but that we can adjust as we go along. When I was 25, I hoped to become a big business executive in a big multinational company. When I was 33, my main aim was to freely decide my own destiny and to live in the city of my dreams. From the age of 49 onwards, all I have really cared about is you, Pablito and Nico. 

I’ve learnt that wherever the river of life takes me, I should never cling to the shore. I’ve tried to stay in the centre, especially when the flow has been very strong. ‘Let the river carry you and enjoy the ride,’ I’ve said to myself, not always completely successfully. There is a destination, even if at times it appears uncertain. And I’m convinced that you see things a lot better if you’re relaxed and in the current’s midst.

What will my goals be in another 15 years? Who knows? But I do know that until my last breath, I’ll do my best to enjoy the river to the fullest. I know that every morning, I’ll have something to wake up for and to look forward to. And I also know that I’ll always be grateful for the well-being and happiness that life has brought to me.

I hope, my darling, that this very long letter (much longer than what I thought was reasonable when I started writing to you), has answered some of the questions you’ve asked of me. It has certainly answered many of my own, even those that I didn’t think were worthwhile to ask.

With all my love,

Pedro

March 2021